This blog seldom ventures into the realms of religion, but the concept of spirit is very difficult to avoid when dealing with the foibles of the human race. I am not here to evangelize, but when I find a restaurant I like, I tell all my friends. Why wouldn’t I do the same after discovering something that continues to revolutionize my life for the better every day?
A very wise book says that all people of all races and all circumstances are in need of redemption. That’s a four dollar word that means, in part, that everyone needs a way to become a better person. There are those who strive their whole lives to do just that: become something better. It’s a common quest in human-kind. A craving for justification. That’s a four and-a-half dollar word that means (again, in part) that we all want to be right. If you ask anybody, the guy at the grocery store check-out stand; the gal who just wrote you a parking ticket; the professor at the University; or the scraggly man sitting on a park-bench with a fifth of whiskey in his hand, they will all admit they long to be right, no matter how successful or unsuccessful their efforts may have been.
And who wants to be wrong? Even the guy on death row thinks he has a perfectly good excuse for what he’s done. Or perhaps he will insist that it was someone else’s fault. Some protest with their dying breath that they did not do the crime, even when there is no doubt of their guilt. Either that, or they confess that they were wrong, and beg for all they’re worth to be forgiven.
Everyone has a desire to be right, and no one is more prone to this need than those with Asperger Syndrome. They have found themselves competing in a world that seems to think differently than they do. They don’t process things the same as others. Often, they don’t fit in well with groups. Constantly being misunderstood, they misunderstand all kinds of words and signals on a regular basis, which only serves to increase their bewilderment and sense of alienation. They find themselves in need of protecting their turf, even to the very defense of their sanity. If they were not raised in a sympathetic and tolerant environment, they are doubly entrenched: unwilling to admit, and perhaps unable to recognize that at times their perceptions may be “wrong.” After all, it makes perfect sense to them. What’s the matter with everyone else? Don’t they get it? Those with AS often become convinced, no matter how overwhelming the evidence to the contrary, that it is others who are messed up. If, on this premise they become adamant, they will stand against the world if necessary. AS-ers make great crusaders.
Those with Asperger Syndrome are doctrinaire in nature. When they find something that is “true” for them, they will stick with it like a Trappist Monk. But unlike the Trappist, they find it difficult, if not impossible to keep their mouth shut for even a second, let alone for years at a time. They are as in need of constant justification for their thoughts and actions, as they are for the air that they breathe. In fact, if challenged, they may even go into anaphylactic shock (just kidding). But I can tell you from much experience, it can cause a bit of hyperventilating at times. And a lot of tension for those in close and constant contact. A prevailing question in the minds of those Neurotypical (NT) people who are around AS-ers for long, is: “Who died and made you the king of the world?”
I believe that it is an essential thing for anyone, anywhere, at any time to recognize that they may be wrong on any subject. I did not come to this conclusion easily. In fact I came to it kicking and screaming. As a loyal AS-er, I know that it is impossible for me to be wrong about anything… at least that is the way I am prone to think. But over the years (and I must say, from early on in my life) I was exposed to a belief system which insisted that man is essentially depraved, and that he is in need of a Savior. A particular verse from that book I mentioned earlier says, “Let every man be a liar, but God is True.” Actually, it says “Let God be true, but every man a liar.” And it goes on to say “That you might be justified in your sayings, and might overcome when you are judged.” In other words, there is a Higher Authority. And that Authority supersedes even me, my thoughts; my perceptions. I have arrived at the conclusion that to that Authority, I am subservient. I am not All-Knowing. I must recognize that I am at least one rung down the ladder from perfect, and that my thoughts are not Authority. This means that I must discipline my mind to allow myself and others to question my thoughts and actions, without slashing about wildly with my sword.
And this brings me to what I think is the truth about justification: I believe that we are not justified (made right) by what we do or say or think, but it is a gift from our Creator. One we have to accept by faith. No matter where one is born, no state or religious affiliation makes one justified. It is not a birthright. It has to be accepted as a gift. Asperger Syndrome isn’t the only thing wrong with the world. There is plenty wrong to go around for everyone. Stuff that renders us less than perfect. It doesn’t matter your color or race; your station in life; whether you’re a paraplegic, or a Michael Phelps, an Einstein, or the village idiot; born in America, or Bangladesh: you still need a Savior. If you disagree with this, then good luck, but as for me, I have relinquished my claim to the throne.
Asperger Syndrome can be both comical and devastating at the same time. When I jest, it is to brighten up a dark corner. And when I wax serious, it is because AS is something that should not be taken lightly. For all who are dealing with this particular malady from either side of the fence, welcome. I hope that you are heartened, amused, or enlightened by something each week. And I hope that you will become part of the dialog as well. Please feel free to interject your thoughts on the Response page by hitting the word “Comment(s)” in blue at the bottom of this blog entry, as well as any previous entry on which you wish to opine. Your thoughts are valuable to me, and I’m sure that others may benefit from your questions as well as your insights.
