There is a trait among those with Asperger Syndrome that can work for good or bad, depending on how it’s applied. But then, isn’t that true about everything in life? That trait is tenacity: the stubbornness to stick with something like a bulldog guarding a squeaky toy (That’s the definition Webster gives. Look it up). It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about important things like finishing a project, keeping a promise, staying faithful in a relationship, turning over every rock in the tranquility garden searching for those lost keys, or finishing this sentence after a period is well overdue because you haven’t quite gotten to the point you intended to make when you started it. Now, where was I? Oh yeah: tenacity.
This is the kind of tenacity which is heroic. It will lift large boulders, and cast them aside, rather than walk around them. If that’s not doable, it will get a hammer and pulverize them until there’s nothing left but a pile of small pebbles. And if that proves impossible, then it will use its fingernails if need be, to scratch a message upon their surface that such rocks cannot be moved. That can be a wonderful, almost romantic thing when such boulders are not part of a meticulously planned landscape, but surely you can see where this level of tenacity could lead to trouble.
As an avid reader of the Bible, I have always gotten a kick out of a group of devout men in the book of Acts who vow before God never to eat another morsel of food until they successfully kill a man named Saul, who has recently converted to Christianity, changing his name to Paul. I certainly can imagine their tenacity may have been their ruin, as we know for a fact that Paul lived many long years after those fatal vows were taken, but alas, we never learn their fate. I wonder if any of them suffered from AS? If so, while others may have gone back on their promise, the poor guy with Asperger Syndrome surely would have gone to his grave a hungry man indeed.
Anyway, the up-side… and there is always an up-side to most everything… is that tenacious people tend to get the job done. Not always right, not always to everyone’s approval, but done at least. Whatever the project, it may wind up looking like crap, but you’ll never have to wonder what would have been the outcome if only they had been more tenacious.
And now we’re into a new year. 2010. Who’da thought? For many of us, tenacity has brought us here. Others may have come in kicking and screaming, but we are here nonetheless. Like the former Senator from Illinois was so prone to do, at least we can vote “present.” And if that kind of tenacity can earn one the White House, then some of us are shoe-ins for the next big election. Tenacity never gives up. It holds on, it endures, it fights for its right to PAARRTYYY. But I digress, so why shift gears?
A few years back, a countrified comedian had an ongoing joke: “You might be a Redneck if…” and the blank was filled in with such quips as, “…if you missed your fifth-grade graduation because you were on jury duty.” Well, I’ve come up with a few Asperger Syndrome jokes in a similar vein. Feel free to add to the list in the comment section if you like.
“You might have Asperger Syndrome if…”
“…stereo headphones leave you confused as to which ear you should be listening from.”
“…while watching Nancy Grace, you find yourself still trying to crack the Lindbergh Baby kidnapping.”
“…that lump in your shoe is what’s left of a snapping turtle that bit you on the toe last summer.”
“…everyone else is always wrong, and you’re always right…you’re almost 100% sure.”
“…the traffic ticket you got is an indication that you haven’t sold out your principals to the ‘Man’ yet.”
“…the slightest show of interest for anything you love, is a three year sentence for anyone near enough to be roped into your obsession.”
“…you realize that after many long years of butting your head against a cement wall, you kind of like it.”
“…you tell it like it is, even at everyone else’s expense, while carefully avoiding self-criticism.”
“…no one knows the trouble you’ve seen…not even you.”
And the final indication that you may have AS:
“…you are willing to stake your life on the fact that Schadenfreude and Freudenschade are the exact same word.”
Tags: asperger syndrome
My husband is currently being evaluated for AS. I learned of your blog through another woman who’s husband receives it and decided to look into it.
I’ve appreciated reading your posts and gaining an insight into at least 1 perspective of an AS man. You’re charmingly funny and I can also see how you probably drive your dear wife absolutely nuts as my dh does me. But then again, we drive you pretty crazy too don’t we?! lol
Thank you. This post was especially needed right now for it’s lightheartedness and yet mini-view into an AS person’s way of thinking.
How many AS people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 of course, why would you even ask?!